Hedonic adaptation is a sexy intellectual term that, when spoken at a cocktail party, will make you sound relatively intelligent. This cryptic phrase captures one of humanity’s most psychologically distressing traits: We tend to prolong the negative and adapt to the positive very quickly. Dr. Lorretta Breuning, in her book, Habits of a Happy Brain uses the example of chimps who are offered a reward for doing a task. The initial reward is spinach, a tasty, tender, nutritious vegetable. The chimps are then offered juice for the same task. This creates a surge of happiness in the chimp brain, facilitated by an increase in the neurotransmitter dopamine.
By day three or four, the chimp has adapted to this sweet and tasty treat and its mood-elevating effects dissipate. It becomes expected. The challenge for our laboratory-bound primate cousins is that when they are forced to go back to spinach, they become enraged. Spinach was acceptable when that was all there was, but it was destabilizing after a few days of fruit punch. This is hedonic adaptation.
We have hedonically adapted to modern society. We expect warmth in the winter and dry, cool homes in the summer. For the greater part of history, this was not even possible. Going back to the good old days, before central heat and central air, would create anarchy. The law of relativity is at the core of our tendency toward hedonic adaptation. Our brains were designed for survival, not happiness. This survival feature has now become a bug in our modern society. No matter how good it gets we adapt, and it becomes expected. We will never be happy going backwards and will always want more.
The law of relativity states that for you to understand something, you must relate it to something else. For instance, to recognize something as large, we must compare it to something small. The same goes for any comparison: long vs. short, rich vs. poor, etc. Anything that exists in degrees of magnitude is subject to comparison. This should not be confused with the law of polarity, which describes opposites like day and night, or up and down. Relativity is the most commonly violated law in our day to day lives. There is so much information and so much contrast in our society today, it becomes hard not to compare. There will always be someone richer, taller, smarter or in better shape than you. The lifestyles of the beautiful, rich and famous flash across our digital screens daily.
Some perspective will help us understand why relativity is the most commonly violated law. We currently live in the most peaceful and prosperous time in human history. For the first time ever, more people will die from obesity than starvation. Extreme poverty is on the run; peeking below ten percent for the first time in history. Artificial intelligence, which is looming on the horizon, has the potential to free humanity from many of the mundane, repetitive and back-breaking tasks we have endured for millennia.
Based on this new reality, most of us should be happy today and excited about the future. Progress brings change; uncertainty causes significant levels of stress. There is a multitude of social, environmental, and financial challenges to deal with. Not everyone is fully participating in this new abundance and prosperity. There is no doubt, however, that most people are reaping significant benefits.
Despite these miraculous transformations in our standard of living, anxiety, depression, suicide and substance abuse are at epidemic levels. The causes are multifactorial. One major reason for this trend is that we tend to compare ourselves to others in an unhealthy way. You must never allow yourself to feel “less than” by comparing yourself to someone more fortunate. If you are the least bit skeptical about the rapid rise of our standard of living, please read Enlightenment Now. It illustrates, in amazing detail, how fortunate we are to be alive today, and it verifies that in every aspect of our life, Accelerating Expansion™ is the true nature of reality.
Dr. Jordan Peterson, a recent internet intellectual sensation, offers cogent advice on the law of relativity. He recommends that the only thing you should compare yourself to is who you were yesterday. This emphasizes the importance of focusing on an expanding life. The feeling of going backward is most discouraging.
To comply with the law of relativity, never compare yourself to others; there will always be someone taller, richer, smarter, or more successful. Don’t compare current relationships to past ones. Don’t compare past vacations to current ones. Don’t compare past meals to new meals. These comparisons are fraught with the potential of significant present moment frustration. If you must compare, do so in a healthy way. Compare yourself to your ancestors who, on average, had a much more difficult life. Model those who have the type of success you desire, but don’t compare. Use relativity to your benefit and allow it to create a context for you to expand your life. Enjoy the fruit juice of life, but don’t take it for granted.
